Despair Repair

Judges 15:18 -20

Mathew 6;32-33

Phil.4:19

Have you ever played so hard that you physically had nothing left in the tank?

Sometimes you collapse on the bench press of your life: weakened, worn out, completely exhausted. But even if you’re already maxed out, there’s no guarantee more stress isn’t still coming. Do you ever feel like that? Like that constant weight of responsibility is always there? That you always have to be there for your family and your friends? Believe me, I know just how that feels.

You don’t want to let anybody down. Month after month, there are always going to be more bills that need to get paid. You want to be a good provider. You want to make your parents proud. You want to be strong for everybody. Do you ever feel like you’re the glue holding everyone else’s lives together? Then is it really any wonder you’re so exhausted?

Of course, if you’re like most guys, you’ll never ask for help. You just keep adding more and more weight to that bar, again and again. You keep lifting it, too, but you’re sore. It hurts, but you don’t tell anybody. Sometimes you even wonder why you’re carrying all this weight for all these other people. It’s easy to start slipping into a negative mindset. Do you ever feel alone? Depressed? Defeated?

We’ll see all of these things in the desperation in Samson’s voice today. He took pride in being self-sufficient and never needing anyone’s help. He didn’t want to reveal his weaknesses to others, which made it hard for him to admit to himself that he actually really needed God.

Many of us slip into that same mode when we start feeling overwhelmed. We may not say it out loud, but what our actions are communicating to others is: “I’m not letting you in. I won’t share what’s going on with me. Besides, even if I tried, you wouldn’t understand.”

That’s why we refuse to ask for directions! We don’t want to have to tell anyone we need help! I’m convinced the reason we do this is that most of us want to be the hero, the main character, the center of the story that we’re telling about ourselves. We want to make everything about us…instead of about God.

But here’s a truth you can grab hold of today: If you’ll let your need drive you to God, God will meet your deepest needs. His Spirit will always lead us to confession, to changing direction, to realigning with his Word, to a fresh start, to grace. Admit it. You need him. Tell him so. You may be surprised how he responds.

The Stuff of Legends

Judges 15:7-19

James 4:6

Prov..16:18

Prov.8:13

William Wallace. Maximus Decimus Meridius. King Leonidas. Movie legends.

Muhammad Ali. Babe Ruth. Bill Russell. Sports legends.

Michael Jackson. The Beatles. Bob Marley. Music legends.

What do all of these legends have in common? Their accomplishments seem larger than life. At times in their stories, each one of them seemed invincible. And their stories were so inspiring that men just kept retelling them over and over, eventually turning the details into folklore, stories that continue to live long after their time is past.

Samson had a moment like that, too, which we’ll read about today. A moment he shared with 1,000 other men.

How does Samson do it? There’s no question that it was God’s strength: “The Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon him.” All credit, all glory, belongs to God and God alone. Jesus once said that with God, nothing is impossible. God gets done the things that he wants done.

Unfortunately, another thing you’ll see today (in Judges 15:16) is that Samson takes credit for God’s power. He was arrogant. Arrogance is always born out of our insecurities. When we don’t know who we are in Christ, most of us look to pride to try to fill that void—just like Samson did.

Many of us try to define ourselves by our accomplishments, to find our worth in what we’ve done, instead of in the One we belong to. We want to rely on our achievements, our victories, our trophies, our wins to define us, instead of acknowledging God as the source of all good things in our lives. And like Samson, we want to get the credit. We want to be known as “a winner,” “a beast,” “a leader,” “a man’s man,” “somebody.”

Pride can be intoxicating. But the hangover is hell. We’re human; we do have (many) limitations, and we need to rely on God. If you lose sight of your identity and try to convince yourself that you’re a legend, you’ll miss the true legend in your life: that the God who made the universe calls you his son.

What’s defining you? Remember, you only get this one life. Whose name are you trying to make great?

The Trouble with Foxes

Judges 14:20

Judges 15:1-6

James 1:19 -20

Prov. 29:11

For a lot of men, anger is a default emotion. When someone embarrasses us, rarely do we feel only embarrassment. Most of the time, that embarrassment also makes us angry. Nobody’s gonna make me look like a fool. They’ll be sorry they messed with me. That’s because when men experience something negative, anger is usually our automatic response.

You might have thought Samson’s reaction from yesterday was over the top—killing 30 guys to pay off a gambling debt—but he was just getting warmed up. Today we’ll see him really turn up the heat.

After Samson stormed off from his engagement celebration, his bride’s father was embarrassed that his future son-in-law had just disappeared. So he did what any father in that position would do: he gave her to another man in the wedding party! (This may not make sense to us, but it was appropriate in their culture at the time.)

In today’s reading, we’ll see what happens when Samson returns to find that his wife went to another man.

Let’s review Samson’s greatest hits so far: He went someplace he had no business going. He lusted after—then pursued—the wrong woman. He ignored his parents’ advice (and God’s wisdom). He touched dead things. He got drunk. He taunted the Philistines with his riddle. He gave his own secret away. He left his wife at the altar to go kill a bunch of guys.

And who was responsible for every single one of these actions? Samson himself.

Samson keeps getting mad at the world, but in reality, almost everything that happened was his own fault. At any point, he could have backed off, even just a little. If he had just taken a minute to cool off, maybe he even could have turned things around. Instead, over and over, he escalated every situation, forcing others to react.

Today, we’ll see how one more emotional decision from Samson forces an emotional response from the Philistines—and costs him everything he cares about.

What about you? If you’re angry at those around you, where is your responsibility in that? Could it be possible that at least some of the hard things you’re going through right now are the result—perhaps even the direct consequences—of your own choices? Really try to be honest with yourself here.

Do you feel tempted to make excuses for your behavior? If you do, it’s time to stop and fight that temptation. Own your part. Ask for forgiveness if you need to. And not just from God, but from the people your actions and attitudes may have hurt. Ask God’s Spirit to lead you. Then go make the hard changes he shows you.

Emotion III

Judges 14;11-19

Rom.7:15

Gam.5:16-17

Have you ever made an emotional decision? Here’s what I mean: you’re struggling with something tough. You have a lot invested in the outcome, and you think you even know what you should do. You hang in there, but you have a lot of other things going on in your life, so it’s hard to focus.

Finally, overcome by your stresses—probably including some external influences—you give in. You abandon your original plan because it was just too hard. You couldn’t take the pressure anymore. And this is when the real trouble actually starts; now you have to deal with the fallout of giving in.

We don’t like to think of ourselves as “emotional.” Women are emotional, not us. We’re strong; we’re logical; we’re thinkers. But the truth is, all humans are emotional beings. And honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that; that’s how God made us. It’s when we allow those emotions to drive our actions that we get ourselves into trouble.

In today’s reading, we pick up with Samson and his Philistine drinking buddies slurping adult beverages. These guys hate him, but they’re content to stay as long as he’s buying. Samson decides to mess with them, so he makes them a bet that he can tell them a riddle they won’t be able to solve. I don’t want to spoil it for you, but I will give you a hint: Samson is basically bragging about breaking his second rule (don’t touch anything dead).

When they can’t figure out the answer, they threaten Samson’s fiancée to pressure her into giving it to them. When they smugly give him the right answer on the last day, Samson realizes immediately what must have happened.

Now, here’s what I really want you to see here. Because Samson allowed his impulses and his emotions to lead him—rather than God’s Spirit—he made one bad decision after another. Samson never corrects course, but even when it’s time for him to pay the consequences for his own actions, still, God’s strength never leaves him.

Our strength comes from the Lord. He made us to be warriors, after all—which is precisely why we need to let his Spirit lead us. We have to be able to discern what, when, where, and how to fight. And we need to fight only for the things that are truly worth fighting for. Don’t trust your emotions. Trust God’s Spirit within you.

I have this under control

Judges 14:10

2 Cor.12:9-10

Eph.6:10

1 John2:14

Lust says, “I want it.”

Entitlement says, “I deserve it.”

And Pride says, “I can handle it.”

Remember how Samson told his parents he wanted to marry the Philistine woman? Well, what does every guy need before he can get married? That’s right—a bachelor party! And in Samson’s case, that meant a kegger. As you’ll see in today’s reading, Samson wanted to get together with his buddies to get hammered.

Before we read, here’s another thing I want to remind you of: Samson’s first rule:

1. Don’t drink alcohol.

Samson was not supposed to drink alcohol at all. But Samson figured that, because he was so strong, he could handle it. You’ve probably heard this before. A guy believes he’s really tough (and he may be), so he convinces himself that he won’t suffer the same consequences as other guys. Maybe you’ve even been that guy. And thinking you can handle it doesn’t just have to just be about substances:

Just one drink/puff/hit isn’t going to kill me. I can handle it.

Man, I really love this car/house/bass boat. I can make these payments.

I know I’m not ‘supposed to’ look at this website/image/video, but I’ve got my smart phone. And it’s just this one time.

Because Samson was the strongest man who had ever lived, he genuinely believed he could handle it all. But do you know how Samson ended up? If you’ve never heard his story before, I won’t spoil the ending for you. Let me just say this: he couldn’t handle it. So what makes you think you can?

We don’t have to follow the same path Samson did. Remember, your enemy wants to DESTROY you, to DEVOUR you. The key is to read his playbook ahead of time and prepare yourself. If you learn how he operates, you can avoid his traps. Three of his most effective weapons are lust, entitlement, and pride.

Don’t let your enemy use your pride and selfishness and shame to trick you into trading your God-given power for things that tempt your fleshly appetites. You were made for more than that. You can be a man of spiritual strength, integrity, and courage. You can be a man who serves his wife and his family. You can be a man who unselfishly gives to others. The bravest thing we can do is admit that we’re weak and vulnerable, and that we need God’s strength and his presence. When we come to him in humility, he redeems us and fills us with purpose and meaning.

Chasing the Wrong Things

Judges 14:1-4

Eph.5:3

Mathew 5:27-28

1 Cor.10:12

Samson was the strongest man who ever lived. With the Incredible Hulk’s muscles, Tony Stark’s mouth, and Thor’s hair, he was basically like three Avengers in one.

But even with so much going for him—chosen by God, blessed with supernatural strength—Samson just couldn’t escape his flaws. Again and again, he pursued the wrong things. His weaknesses kept getting the best of him.

As you’ll see today, one of those weaknesses was lust. In Judges 14:1–2, Samson went to the wrong place—on purpose. Timnah was enemy territory, a Philistine town. He had no business being there. Then on top of that, he wanted the wrong thing there. He told his parents he was hot for a Philistine woman he saw there, and he wanted to marry her. But God had specifically told his people not to intermarry with others who didn’t worship him.

What about you? Lazily surfing channels, have you ever stopped—or even just slowed down a little—when you “happened to see” some hot, scantily clad woman? What about on the Internet? Have you ever clicked on some link, some thumbnail, some ad you knew you probably shouldn’t? Samson started by letting his feet wander. His eyes weren’t far behind. Predictably, his heart followed.

“I don’t care what God says. I don’t care what Mom and Dad say. I don’t care what’s right or wrong. I’m a MAN. I’ve got desires. I’ve got needs. And besides, I want it!”


Sound familiar? Of course, some of the things you and I lust after aren’t even sexual. Maybe what you crave is that promotion, that raise, or just winning at work. Dreams of money and prestige start to consume your mind and overwhelm your soul. Or maybe it’s something material: that big house, that shiny new car, that sweet boat. You wake up thinking about them, try all day to figure out how you can get them, then drift off to sleep at night dreaming about them.

Whatever you lust after, it takes every ounce of restraint you can muster to hold yourself back from plowing headlong after it. Why? Because just like Samson, lust makes even the strongest man weak.

Get in the habit of pointing your feet away from temptation—and turning your eyes away from it. What are you doing going out looking for trouble anyway? Don’t put yourself in that position. Practice common sense and good judgment—unlike Samson. Know your weaknesses. And shore up your defenses.

The Rules of Fight Club

Judges 13;1-5

John 10:10

1Peter 5:8

Eph.6;10-18

“Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not TALK about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you do NOT talk about Fight Club!”

—Tyler Durden, Fight Club, 1999

I’ve got news for you: you’re in a fight. Right now. We all are.

Have you ever noticed how hard it is sometimes just to follow God? Why isn’t marriage effortless? Why is raising a family so…complicated? Shouldn’t those things just come naturally? Shouldn’t they be easy? But they’re not.

Let’s say we’re standing on an empty football field, just you and me. We’re on the 20-yard line. I throw you the ball and say, “Run this into the end zone.” In no time at all, you’re spiking the ball and doing the Heisman. Easy, right?

We were just a couple of guys horsing around, but now let’s mix it up a little. Let’s add 60,000 screaming fans and nine more guys (maybe some friends from your work). And let’s say we’re facing…a defensive lineup of NFL All-Stars. The game’s changed, hasn’t it? This time, if I can even get the ball to you at the 20-yard line, you’ll be lucky to make it through this without any broken bones—let alone actually reaching the end zone! There’s opposition. There’s someone trying to stop you. A bunch of huge someones.

Make no mistake: You are in a fight. Every day, you’re getting stared down by your enemy. And his mission statement, his entire life’s purpose, can be summed up in three words: Steal. Kill. DESTROY. (John 10:10)

1 Peter 5:8 warns you: “Watch your back, man! You’ve got a vicious enemy: the devil. Don’t underestimate this guy. He’s like a lion, out stalking you. He wants to tear your flesh, to devour you whole.” (Craig’s Paraphrased Version)

Get that in your head: A rabid lion is hunting you. To eat you! Oh, you’re in a fight, all right.

The next 10 days are FIGHT Boot Camp. We’ll learn from Samson’s mistakes in dealing with his physical enemy, the Philistines, so we can avoid making those same mistakes with our spiritual enemy, the devil.

It’s fourth down. We’re on the 20. And on this next snap, the ball is coming to you. What are you going to do? Are you ready for this fight? 

Enough is Enough

1 Sam.30; 9 - 19

When David said, “We must go and fight and take it all back!” they took action. There is a time to weep. There is a time to seek God’s face.

Then there is a time to dry the tears, grab your sword, and do battle!

That’s what David and his mighty warriors did. They chased down the Amalekites, cleaned them out, and took back what the enemy had stolen plus more! Sometimes you have to get fed up and then get fired up!

Change has to happen, and it has to happen now.

Will you drop out because you are weary and discouraged, or will you strengthen yourself in the Lord and press on in the fight?

On September 11, 2001, United Airlines flight 93 was somewhere over Pennsylvania when hijacked by terrorists. The passengers found out that other planes had crashed into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. They realized that the terrorists’ plan was to use their plane as a missile targeting perhaps the White House or Capitol in Washington, DC.

Thirty-two-year-old Todd Beamer, along with Mark Bingham, Tom Burnett, and Jeremy Glick, knew it was time to rise up and take action to stop another major terrorist attack from happening. After the men contemplated, they knew what had to be done, even though it would mean the loss of their own lives.

The men formed a plan and surged forward to retake the plane from the hijackers. As the attack began, Todd Beamer stated those famous words, “Let’s roll.” Flight 93 crashed that day in the hills of Pennsylvania and no one survived. But as a result, hundreds, if not thousands, of lives were saved.

God is calling out to men today. It is time to fight, men. Let’s roll!

Take it back!

1 Sam.30;1-8

Once David repented, made things right with God, and strengthened himself in the Lord, he knew he had God’s ear. There was a clear line of communication. He was not going to make the same mistake again and move on his own without God’s direction. David cried out to God again. Only this time he asked God, “What do I do?”

The Lord God heard David’s cries, as He will yours, and answered him (in other words), “Rally your men, son! Take it back—and don’t just get some of it. Get all of it!”

God’s not into doing anything halfway.

God was fully aware of the mistakes David and his men had made, yet He was still with them. He will be with you too. The enemy lies when he says, “It’s too late. You’ve messed up too much.”

That is not true. God can supernaturally redeem what has been lost to make you stronger. Your past isn’t your past if it’s still affecting your present. Ask God what to do and where to go from here to redeem your mistakes.

Taking back your life personally and taking back the culture are tightly linked. The second can’t happen until the first happens. With God’s favor it will happen. When David rallied his men, I believe they could see the resolve and confidence he had after connecting with God.

Once again they chose to follow one whose face reflected authority and power. They released their bitterness and anger toward David and refocused it toward the goal.

The same will happen to you. When you strengthen yourself in the Lord, the people around you will begin to notice and have confidence in your steps to new life.

Keep your daily appointment with God

Mathew 6:31 -34

1Peter  5:6-11

For the enemy to get to the valuables in your city, he must come through you. When you are the wall, you can’t afford to wander off in the wilderness for three days. When the enemy entices you to indulge in online porn, to cheat on that business deal, to pursue those selfish pleasures, consider the fallout and how it will impact you and all the people you love.

The enemy will wait and lull us into complacency and then—BAM!—ambush us like a predator striking its prey.

Isn’t that where men get into trouble? We convince ourselves we have everything under control and slack off from keeping ourselves anchored and seeking God. We do life our own way, thinking we can handle it in our own strength and wisdom or that we’re too busy to spend time with the Lord.

As with David and his band of men, often it’s a subtle shift, almost a subconscious drifting. We get lazy or tired and then distracted. When we insist on doing life on our own, we get lost—we lose, and the ones we love the most lose too.

Seeking God must be a priority. When we keep God first, He helps order our lives so those things that He values most are what we value most and spend our time on.

Look at the world around you. Walls are broken down mostly because men’s personal walls are broken down and they have left the scene. This has allowed the enemy to waltz in and take captive their prized possessions. We’ve seen the devastating effects of what happens when men are out of the picture.

We know the enemy wants to strip us of our masculinity and take us out. Why? It’s because men are matter and men matter.

This is why now more than ever men need strong personal walls.

Strengthen Your Personal Walls

Ezekiel 22:23- 30

Prov.25:28

Men are to be the walls of protection around those God has placed in their lives. What’s interesting about Ziklag is when the men let their guards down by leaving the city unprotected, their wives, sons, and daughters could not defend themselves against the evil onslaught. Otherwise they would never have been taken captive. Ponder that for a moment. When men let their guards down, the wives, sons, and daughters are left unprotected. That’s because men are called to be the gatekeepers. It’s the way God set it up (Eze. 22:30).

God is looking for men who will be a wall, who will stand in the gap and be gatekeepers. Yet for men to be the walls of protection, they must have strong personal walls (Prov. 25:28).

When a man has no self-control of his own spirit and body, the enemy rushes in and plunders his city, tearing down the walls of protection. After corrupting the soul of a man and breaking down his personal walls of protection, the enemy proceeds to steal his valuables—time, purpose, dignity, integrity, and security—and then wreaks havoc within his most important relationships.

When our personal walls are broken down, the enemy comes in to destroy us. And then after we are weakened and out of the picture, he can take out our treasures. Do you see the connection between personal walls and being a wall? You have to have the first to be the second. It is the man’s responsibility to stand in the gap and be the walls of protection for his family and the important people in his life.

When a man’s life falls into disorder, when his personal walls are broken down, it impacts more than just him. It impacts his city— his individual circle of influence.

Be Dependant on God

Prov.3:1-12

1 Sam.27:27

The tragedy of Ziklag happened because the men were out of the picture. They could have prevented it. For a brief period of three days they let down the walls of protection, which left everything vulnerable to attack, and the enemy seized the opportunity.

One has to ask, How could they even allow such a thing?

The truth is that David and his band of men got overconfident and let their personal guards down. David, who normally leaned on and pressed into God, relaxed a bit and did life his own way. This included making a couple deals with another enemy, the Philistines (1 Sam. 27:7), out of his fleshly wisdom. It would cost him dearly. Though he never left his love for God or even doubted he was God’s anointed, David at times strayed from his total dependence on God as his source of strength and direction.

There are always consequences when we try to do life independently, without seeking God’s counsel. One of the weaknesses of many men—maybe most men—is at times they want to go it alone, to do it on their own, to be independent. That independence can be a double-edged sword.

As men we must live a life of seeking God, walking in the Spirit, and renewing our dependence on Him. If we don’t, we will blow it. David and his band of men did. The enemy was right there waiting to rush in and take their most treasured assets.

Hear me: our adversary is very patient. Big acts of sin and lapses in judgment that bring us down rarely “just happen.” They are a result of our personal walls being broken down over time and our drifting away from dependence on God.

Real Men Need to Weep

1 Sam.30:4

2 Cor.7:8-11

As the full weight of what happened fell upon them, the men began to weep. Some dropped their weapons, slipped from their saddles, and fell to their knees, wailing. Others beat their chests and yelled, the deep agonizing cries of fury echoing throughout the valley. They wept for their wives, for their sons, for their daughters (1 Sam. 30:4).

One of the misconceptions about masculinity is that real men don’t cry. Not true. Not biblical. These guys who wept were about as masculine as you could get. Let’s just say that there was no shortage of testosterone in the group. These men were not some overly emotional group of emasculated males.

They were courageous, tough, and battle tested. Robust and wild at heart, they were men’s men who had banded together with David to rise up against the oppression and wickedness of King Saul. They wanted their culture back, and they wanted Israel to serve God again.

With all their power and skill and character, they still wept. Sometimes real men need to weep. We need to weep for our past, for our families, for what has happened to our nation, for what we’ve allowed to happen. We need to cry out to God for our wives and children, our brothers and sisters. We need to be broken and mourn over our own sin. If we take care of personal stuff, it influences the church and the nation.

Like David and his band of men, weeping and grief over what we have lost and repentance should be our first response too. Whether we shed actual tears isn’t the point. There must be authentic repentance in our hearts that leads to lasting change. Change begins in the heart. It’s a gut-level, core initiative.