Men tend their fields

Luke 16:10-12

1 Cor.3:9

2Cor.10:13

When a man first starts out in the world, he may only be responsible for half a dorm room and a rusty car. He might also have a part-time job, schoolwork, and the care of body and soul to think about. These things make up his field. It’s what he’s responsible for. All of it. If he’s a serious man who knows something of genuine manhood, he tends these things with zeal and devotion. They comprise the field assigned to him for this season of his life. And he knows that real men tend their fields...

So a man takes responsibility for his field—even if this field is only a dorm room, an old clunky car, a suitcase of clothes, his studies, and an occasional date. He mans his zone because he knows it is his job as a man. He also knows, though, that when a man tends his field, it leads to a bigger field.

If our young man tends this first field well, he may eventually have a wife, a home, and meaningful work to do. Then, perhaps, there will be children, increased income to manage, and a role to fulfill in the community. He doesn’t resent these duties. He mans his zone out of love for those who have been entrusted to him and the calling of God. He takes responsibility for the field assigned to him because he knows this is what he is put on earth to do. He also knows that faithfulness now is the key to increase later. So he guards and nurtures what he’s assigned. In time, who knows? His art impacts a larger audience. His message is more widely heard. He influences more hearts and minds. Maybe he’s entrusted with managing a city. Or guiding a church. Or leading a nation.

Man your territory. It’s what men do. It’s how men love...

Challenge: What part of your field have you been neglecting? What will you do to tend it well?

A man is a Doer!

1 Kings 2:2

Isiaha 32:8

The great mistake we have made in our generation is to think we can make a man with words. We need words, certainly. We just don’t need words only. Yet by making words our primary tool in building men, we’ve talked the modern man to death. He is awash in a sea of words. He has language for things he hasn’t even thought about doing—labels from a dozen therapeutic systems, lists and descriptions, and nifty slogans to keep him inspired. Fine. But has it made him a man? Has it made him act in noble, manly ways? Not usually. I think it has bored him to death. Or, worse, it has made him feel like a victim. Or, worse than that, it has made him feel understood, as though being understood is the meaning of life.

Here’s the question: When does he start the doing? When does he act? 

Unfortunately, most of modern manhood is perpetually hanging out in the locker rooms—and talking, ever talking. Ultimately, though, you only know who a man is and what he believes by what he does. Not by what he sits around talking about. Not by what he says he feels. It’s only when he acts—when he does something—that we start to know what he is. That locker room sure is a great place to hang out and talk smack! But it isn’t the game. It isn’t taking the field. That requires action.

Hear me, gentlemen: true men do things—manly things. Mere males who want to seem like men just talk. Manhood is in the doing...

To be a man, you have to do man things. You can do other things, even woman things, but you won’t be a man. A man does the things men do. It’s how we know he is a man. It’s how we benefit from what it means for him to be a man...

Take this down as Mansfield’s Manly Maxim #1: Manly men do manly things.

Challenge: What is it that you keep talking about but haven’t taken action on? What can you act on today?

We become what we do

Ps.119:45

2 Peter 1:5-8,10

I should say quickly I do not believe we are only the sum of our habits. There is more at work in our lives than the product of what we do. Thank God! To be a Christian is to believe the grace of Jesus breaks the unending, hellish cycle of cause and effect. I don’t want to live forever in the cancerous wake of my evil deeds. Grace intervenes. The Spirit makes me new. I’m freed, even from myself.

Still, even after grace comes to us, virtues have to be perfected. Our habits have to be formed. Our actions have to be aligned with the grace we have received... 

We are given faith and we are taught knowledge, but to make both productive, we have to devote ourselves to a lifelong project of developing traits, attitudes, and habits. . . . Otherwise, we’ll be “ineffective and unproductive” despite the grace and knowledge we possess.

If we lived in an ideal world, every man would learn the traits of manliness as part of a dynamic body of righteous men. He would have models in these older men. He would have a tribe. He would be initiated, honored, challenged, trained, corrected, and commissioned by these men. In fact, in an ideal world, a man would barely be able to identify what had made him a great man, a genuine man. It would all be natural and woven into life. It would just be. . . .

Let’s begin with defining the four maxims that frame the vision of manhood. They are the pillars upon which every other truth in this study rests, and they give meaning to the disciplines and virtues every man should incorporate into his life. They are the four pillars of true manhood, the essentials for becoming manly men.

Challenge: Maybe you had a noble father figure who taught you the lore of manhood, but maybe you didn’t. What’s one good thing you learned from watching another man? Take a moment to thank God for that example.

Saying "Yes" to your Spouse

Eph.5:15-17

Mathew 6:33

Eph.5:25

There was a time early in our marriage that my priority was me. I said yes to every committee and board that I was asked to be a part of. There were weeks that I had something to do almost every night. I justified it all because the things that I was involved in were good things. Some things had to do with the church. Other things had to do with the business I was involved with at that time. Then there were the civic activities I was a part of. I was building this great resume and at the same, failing at the commitment I made before any of these others: my marriage.  

You may be able to do all the above and still put God and your marriage first but I couldn’t. I didn’t. Every time I said “yes” to something, I was saying “no” to time with Nancy. Our marriage was headed for a train wreck if something did not change. Thankfully, it did change, or I did. I heard what Nancy was saying to me and made the decision to say “yes” to her and “no” to all the other things. It took a few months but I got off of every committee or board that met at night. I had a wife and kids and I chose to be home at night. It was a big first step for me as I began putting things in the right order. My marriage began to grow. God led me away from business and into ministry. My focus changed and my life finally had the balance it needed. Learning to say “yes” to the important things in life was a life and marriage changer.

Today’s Challenge:

What are your top three priorities today?

What are you saying “yes” to today that you need to say “no” to tomorrow?

In the big picture, what does “winning” look like to you?

Going Deeper:

As you look back over the past six days of this plan, what is your biggest takeaway and how will it affect you and your spouse in the future?

Small Steps that Lead to Big Destruction

Prov.28;13

James 5,:16

James 1:14,15

2 Tim.2:15

I have never counseled a man who told me he walked out of the house one morning and decided to screw up his life, his marriage, and his family, but I have counseled many men who did just that. It almost never happens with one big giant step. Instead it is the small steps - almost baby steps - that take us from where we are to where we never thought we would go. We could stop taking the steps at any time, but we don’t and then we end up in a mess that we cannot find our way out of. Pastor Craig says that sin is progressive. That’s the picture we have here: Progressive sin.  

If this path of sin is truly progressive, that means we have many opportunities along the road to stop it. Here are some things for you to think about:

Get ahead of the game. Put safeguards in place before you need them. That may be an accountability partner, altering travel plans, or eliminating access to certain things on your mobile device.

Make a commitment to be faithful to your spouse in every way and never compromise that commitment.

If you take a baby step, stop at step one.

Be open and transparent. Pastor Craig says that “sin grows best in the dark.”

Pray that your sexual desires will be for your spouse only.

Today’s Challenge:

Pray for God to bring a man into your life that you can be mutually accountable with.

Is there something you need to stop today?  

What can you do to protect yourself from your areas of vulnerability?

Going Deeper:

The small steps are there every day for you to take. Pray that God will equip you to resist temptation and take big steps away instead of small steps towards your vulnerabilities.

Men and Emotions

Eccl.3:1-8

Prov.29:11

Eph.4:26,27

The first time that I saw my granddad cry was the night he told me that his mother had just died.  I was about six years old. My granddad was my hero. He taught me everything from how to build things, to farming, to the importance of having Jesus in my life. This big strong man came and sat on the edge of my bed that night with tears in his eyes, and told me of his sadness. I have never forgotten that night. The impact was profound. It was a few years later that I was sad and tears began to stream down my cheeks. I was with some friends but I never flinched. Crying was okay. It was not until I was much older that I realized what a gift my grandad gave me.  

There is all this confusion in men about their emotions. When is it okay to show them? Are some emotions good and others bad? What does it mean to be led by the Spirit and not driven by our emotions? 

Here is my take of these questions. First, I believe all emotions come from God. Therefore, the emotion itself is neither good or bad; it is how we choose to express the emotion that can be good or bad. If I am angry at someone and ask them to talk it through with me, that would be a good way to handle my anger. On the other hand, if I just start hitting the person, that would be a bad way to handle it. I think the Holy Spirit is there, ready and waiting to help us handle our emotions in a way that honors God. He is right there and ready to jump in. We just have to ask Him.

Today’s Challenge:

What emotions do you need to express in healthy ways that would be good for you and those around you?

When are you vulnerable to being driven by your emotions?

Is there an emotion in your life that is out of control? If so, will you reach out for help today?

Going Deeper:

List the three emotions that you experience the most. Now prayerfully examine each of these before God. Ask His wisdom in handling each of these emotions in a way that honors Him.

Lust, Entitlement, and Pride

James 4:1-12

Phil.2:3

Prov.16:18

Gal.5:19-21

Samson had three big issues that caused his demise. They were pride, lust, and entitlement. Honestly, I cannot think of a man I know or have known who did not deal with at least one of these. In fact, most of us deal with all three. I believe that dealing with these is not a “one and done” thing. We must continue to deal with them. Every time I think I have gotten control of my pride, it jumps out at me again. Lust is such a big part of our culture that it attacks us from all directions every day. Finally, entitlement is a never ending battle inside of us. 

 *This is my take on the “Big Three.” As long as we say they don’t affect us, they will.*

Acting like they do not exist for us is simply an act of lying to ourselves. *Acknowledging that we need help is our first step.*

 Until we admit that we are vulnerable, we are just fooling ourselves. It’s interesting isn’t it? *We become strong by admitting that we have a weakness* . It’s not managing the temptations. Instead, it’s starting a consistent battle to eliminate them from our lives. 

Today’s Challenge:

1) Of pride, lust, and entitlement, which of the “Big Three” is the biggest issue for you?

2) What are you doing to deal with these issues is your life?

3) What is the difference between “managing temptation” and “eliminating it?”

Going Deeper:

List out the areas where you are most vulnerable. What is your first step in getting the help you need?

Dealing with Anger and Fighting for a Cause

James1:19 -20

Prov.16:31

Prov.29:11

There are times that I think anger in men is an epidemic. I seem to run into angry men everywhere I go. Many of us live with our anger so close to the surface that it is just waiting for an opportunity to jump out and take over. Have you ever been surprised by your anger? Have you ever felt you were watching a crazed person acting out their anger, and then realized it was you? Has your anger ever caused your spouse to be fearful? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, or even if you had to think twice before you answered, it may be time to deal with your anger. 

Pastor Craig says that his experience tells him most men are really angry at themselves. Let that sink in for a moment. Is there any truth in that for you? Is it time to take that first step in dealing with your anger by admitting that you have a problem? Remember, getting help is not a sign of weakness but truly a sign of strength.

Today’s Challenge:

How does your anger affect you, your spouse, and your kids?

If you ask yourself, “why am I frustrated?” what is your answer?

If you have an anger problem, will you reach out for help today?

Going Deeper:

What is the cause that God is calling you to fight for? If nothing comes to your mind, commit to pray this prayer daily for thirty days: Father, I want a cause to believe in and to fight for. Please lead me to the cause you have for me. Thank you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

How to be a warrior in your marriage

1 Cor. 16:13

Phil. 2:3

Ps. 62:5-8

John 15:4-5

Joshua 1:9

Devotional Content:

What does it really mean to have the heart of a warrior? That is a challenge for me. I like the idea of being a fighter and going to battle, but often the images in my mind are different than truly being a warrior for God. If I am fighting self-defined battles, my tendency is to be selfish. I fight for what I want instead of making sure I am fighting for what God wants. Being a warrior for God really involves fighting for something that is much greater than myself. Fighting for Him means I fight the battles that truly matter and in that fight, I follow Jesus’s example. That can also be tough because Jesus led like a servant and ultimately laid down His life for me. So if I am to fight like Jesus, I have to be willing to do the same as He did. The good news is that I don’t have to do it in my own power and my own strength. Jesus is right there fighting by my side and I have His power and His strength. Each day as I fight for something great for my marriage and my family, He is right there with me. With Jesus at my side, I will win the battle day after day after day! So will you!

Today’s Challenge:

What does it mean to you to “fight for something greater than yourself?”

Today, what is the battle you are fighting that matters the most? How can you bring God into the battle?

What does it mean to you to be a servant leader?

Perfect Space

Ruth 1:16-17

In the last four days, we've considered that we often place too much space between each other. Today, we'll analyze what perfect spacing looks like.

 

If you are  Ruth, I would suggest you read it soon. It's a beautiful story.

 

These are the statements Ruth makes when talking to Naomi:

Do not urge me to leave you…

For where you go I will go…

Your people shall be my people…

And your God my God…

Where you die, I will die…

When we consider these statements and our perfect Savior, these are the kind of things we should say to Him. It's a beautiful relationship of Savior to a servant. An ideal amount of space. 

Your spacing with Jesus can be directly impacted by how you treat your spouse, family, or church. When you love them like Jesus Christ, the spacing will be perfect, and glory will be brought to God.

 

Uncommen Questions:

On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 is too close / 10 is too far apart) where are the following:

Wife

Family

Community

Church

Jesus

What can you do to adjust the spacing to be just where God wants it?

Uncommen Challenge:

I challenge you to examine the spacing in your life. We all have spaces that need to be adjusted, but we tend to modify them out of our wants and not God's desires. Pray that God opens your eyes to where He wants you to be and then go.

No Traffic Days

Heb. 10:24-25

If you are like most people, you get up every day and sit in traffic coming and going to work. Your time in transit could add up to about 20 to 40 hours per month just sitting in traffic. 

Unfortunately, there's a day where cars are challenging to find. Where is everyone? We were commanded to not neglect the gathering together of the saints. Certainly, many did neglect this as our passage describes.

Have you ever said these things to get out of church?

I'm going to go fishing instead

I get up every day for work/school; this is my only day to sleep in

I don't feel like going

We don't have to go every week

Let's stay home and watch a sermon on TV / online

If you're not going, I'm not going

I read the Bible daily

I don't like the church I go to

I didn't like what the preacher said last week

Church people are hypocrites

I feel like I don't fit in

People will judge me

People will ask me to do something I'm not comfortable with

 

The amount of excuses someone could create is endless. In a previous church, there was a group of people who would attend Sunday School but spend the Worship Service hour simply socializing with each other. That's not honoring God. Get involved with your church and hear God's Word. There’s no room for space between you and your church. This is vital for the believer.

 

Uncommen Questions:

When was the last time you skipped church? Why?

Why do you think God doesn't want us to skip gathering with each other?

 

Uncommen Challenge:

 

I challenge you to review why you go or don't go to church. Search God's Word for why church matters.

Distance from Others

1Cor.13:1-13

As of 2019, we live in a world that is more divided than I can remember in my 51 years. It may be that every generation feels that way, especially around election time, but with news, social media, protests, marches, groups and parades, the space between us couldn't be more significant.

The way people speak to each other on social media seems like Fiction from when I was growing up in the 70s-90s. I've heard that people share more in common than they disagree, but it can be hard to believe these days.

I'm here to tell you we do have the essential thing in common: Jesus Christ. Jesus knew the future for our generation; he knew the sin we would fall into, the disagreements we would fight over, and everything in between. Above all else, he knew we needed a savior.

How can you love like Jesus Christ? You will disagree with unbelievers, and you may even disagree with believers, but how can we show the love of Christ? I would implore you to practice this radical love face-to-face and not on social media. You can love your brothers and sisters in Christ by uniting over our Savior. Revel in this beautiful truth.

Uncommen Questions:

 

Can you step away from all the things that separate us from each other and find common ground in Jesus? 

Do you love people as Jesus loves you?

Uncommen Challenge:

 

I challenge you to reconsider where you prioritize the commandment of love. Is it passed through whatever news organization or group you hold dear? Can you lay aside all of that and love your fellow man as Jesus loves you?

Family Space

*Family Space* 

John 5:1-17

I was attempting to play golf with a friend who is much better at the sport than I am. I was lining up to go around the massive tree, and he said, "What are you doing? Shoot through the tree!"

I responded saying, "What are you talking about? I can't go through the tree." He said, "The tree may look solid with all the leaves, but if they were not there, you'd see how much room you have for the ball to go through."

 

I gave him my best, "I don't know about that" look and proceeded to line up to go around the tree. I hit the ball, and it landed about where I wanted it to go, knowing that I would have to attempt again to get around the tree entirely. 

My friend smiled as he lined up to take his shot and teed off right through the tree. I was waiting for the ball to come bouncing back out but only saw a puff of leaves as the ball continued through the tree and cut at least one stroke off this hole. 

 

He turned and said, you'd be surprised how much space is between branches. What stood out to me in that story was what we see as a solid foundation in many cases has more space than we can imagine. 

Consider a family having lunch or walking into church on Sunday. There may even be smiles that say, "everything is stable with this family." They wouldn't dare tell anyone, but there's more space between them than what's seen on the surface.

 

If you ever want to gauge your love for someone or their love for you, hold them or yourself up to Jesus. In John 15:12, Jesus says, "This is my commandment (not a suggestion), that you love one another as I have loved you." Do not leave space between you and a loved one. With space, comes a foothold that Satan can exploit to create even more distance.

Uncommen Questions:

 

How much space would you say are between you and your family when it comes to your relationship? 

 

When was the last time you made an effort to get closer to each other?

Uncommen Challenge:

I challenge you to be objective with the space between you and your family. Make the inside reality match the outside facade that people see. While you may fool man, God sees the heart.

The space between us

1 Peter 4:8

Having the right amount of spacing when it comes to your relationships is vitally important. We’re meant to live in unity with our fellow brothers and sisters and meant to worship Jesus continually. This also means that the amount of spacing we have with our spouses matters. Do you think there’s too much distance in your lives? Are you living as one flesh or two people who happen to live in the same place?

 

I know couples who seem to go a very long time without actively showing love each other. They may be in the same house or even the very same bed, but in the space between…there is nothing but…space. 

I love what Peter is saying about loving one another earnestly. Since I work with my wife, I'm blessed to sit near her in our studio every day. So, I get the chance to lean over and tell her I love her and grab a kiss. But even when we didn't work side-by-side, we loved each other earnestly.

 

There is not a day that goes by that I don't hug my 23 and 20-year old sons and tell them I love them. They will never have to wonder if Dad loves them. I’d rather be too close than too far away when it comes to my sons. It’s a balance that needs to be tweaked as we all grow through life.

 

The other part of this scripture that I love is when Peter says, "since love covers a multitude of sins." Face it…we are all sinners saved by grace. Your marriage will need love to cover your many sins.

Uncommen Questions:

When was the last time you've gone a whole week without telling or showing your spouse that you earnestly love them?

Do you extend the same sin-covering love to others as Christ Jesus does for you and your sins?

Uncommen Challenge:

I challenge you to re-evaluate how you show love in the in-between moments. Examine what the space between you and your spouse looks like and compare that to what God says about loving earnestly and covering sin.