A personal testmony

Isiaha 43:16-19

Luke 3:4-5

Today im forwarding a personal testimony of some one who  foynd himself in the wilderness!!!!

 My name is Kevin and I am the Lead Pastor of Collective.

I consider myself a positive person. I am a dreamer and I get excited about the future - exploring new territories and diving head first into uncharted waters. However, some years back there was a long period of time where these were taken away from me by a series of uncertainties in my life. I came to fully understand what “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” meant in Proverbs 13:12.

I faced a series of uncertainties, which caused my confidence to slowly ebb away. It did not happen overnight, but little by little, these uncertainties ate at my soul. I fell into severe anxiety and began to lose sleep. I could only manage to get about an hour of sleep a night. Not knowing what to do, I started taking sleeping pills and from then on everything spiraled downwards.

It became very difficult for me as I had to put up a strong front to lead the church and act as though everything was alright. One of my scariest moments was when my memory became fragmented. I could not connect the sequences of many events correctly. I prayed and asked God for a breakthrough, but nothing happened.

Then one day, God spoke to me through one of the entries in an online forum. I was encouraged to focus on God and not my problems, I and invited the Holy Spirit to come and fill me once again. From that moment onwards, I prayed for the Holy Spirit to fill me every night. At first, it was tough to fall asleep without the pills, but thankfully, I experienced gradual healing from God.

Being the senior pastor, it was inevitable that my personal wilderness would eventually spill over and affect the church. We lost a lot of momentum and became inward looking due to the instability, lack of discipleship and changes in leadership. 

I desperately needed a solution, a new game plan, but I was looking for answers in the wrong places.

The answer was written plainly in Isaiah 43 - that my focus should not be on “the new thing” or “the way in the wilderness”, but on the “I AM” - the God who is gracious, compassionate, forgiving and abounding in love!

I hope the journey over the past 14 days has reaffirmed your identity in Christ and helped you discover not just a way out of your wilderness, but the Way-Maker Himself.

Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV) - You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.